Who knew that an innocent story of a pirate in a children’s book could turn into my nightmare in 2nd grade. I was feeling lonely, ridiculed, damaged, ashamed. I was trying really hard to contain the tears, You know, that feeling when the eyes and nose get kinda prickly, and there is tightness in the chest and throat. Some kids in my classroom thought it was funny to call me names, like that of the pirate, because I was limping. Some would mock me and exaggerate my walk and repeat ‘Wendy, pata con hipo’ (leg with a hiccup, the name of the pirate). After seeing their fingers pointing at me and all that mockery, I quickly despised being seen, the center of attention or acknowledged (even in a positive way). I learned to hide and do the very least so I’d be unnoticed. The less people saw me the better. After all, what is cute about a little girl with some scars and a limp?
When I was really young, I had surgeries in my hip that left me with scars and a limp, so in itself, it was very uncomfortable to cope with it. On top of that, they also made fun of me because my parents were divorced and that I only had my grandma attend the PTA meetings. Man!, kids can be really mean sometimes.
So I grew up with a lot of insecurities, low self esteem. I thought I wasn’t good enough, less than others. I didn’t share my feelings, until now. I didn’t cry, or at least I tried to hold the tears because if I cried, people will see me even more weak and vulnerable than what they already thought of me. I didn’t trust people enough to talk about these things. Obviously this influenced my relationships with people including my love life.
The other day I went live in my personal FB page and talked about being in the best relationship, which is with yourself and how important it is to take care of it. I couldn’t help to get emotional. (Geez, and I thought that I got it all taken care of). But also, I had never shared those things before because I wanted to forget about them.
It took a long time, and many more hardships to realize they were all lies: both what people thought of me and what I learned to believe on my own. I had to learn to stop the self-criticism and accept myself and my actions trusting that they come from the heart. Of course, life has funny ways of teaching you what’s up, and it is up to us to pay attention.
Let me ask you this … How often do you tell yourself nice things instead of criticizing, or pay attention to your needs (like when you are tired, hungry or sad). Do you attend those first before doing anything else for the day? How often do you express your emotions, be your true self?
So, if you haven’t heard this lately, let me tell you,
YOU ARE AMAZING
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
YOU ARE ENOUGH
YOU ARE POWERFUL
YOU HAVE SOMETHING WONDERFUL TO SHARE
YOU ARE PERFECT, YES, EVEN WITH PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL SCARS
YOU ARE A GIFT IN YOUR OWN WAY
YOU ARE COMPLETE….
You are much more and you know it.
For me, I try to keep this as a constant practice to remind myself how much I am worth, beautiful, purposeful, enough. I learned to see beyond the physical body and appreciate who I was [I know it sounds cliche, but it is really true]. A little self-love, kindness and compassion goes a long way and makes life WAAAAAAYYYYYYYY more meaningful. This new perspective is what I think keeps me grounded and focused in what I truly want to DO/BE in life.
I know it can be tough sometimes, whether it is the busy life, limiting beliefs or past memories we have not dealt with, I wanted to let you know that I am here for you. You are not alone. Here is the thing, the majority of my work starts with self love and activating that mindset muscle that we have in us, but has not been in active use 😛
I am offering a complimentary session to discuss and immediately identify what are those blocks that might be holding you back and what you can do to start feeling FREE and POWERFUL. Because you have that in you, and it is your time to own it! Click here to schedule 20 minutes with me.
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